Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We're too hungover to prance.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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