she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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