But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
