I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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