the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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