Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
