When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
