i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
