Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
