how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
