just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
