just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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