can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
