So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
