Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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