what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
