whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
