yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
