no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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