Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
