I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I want to make a zoo with you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
