does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
