he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
