Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
