My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
