It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My pussy is not your playground.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
