Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
