new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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