Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
