dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
