Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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