If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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