honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
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My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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