it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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