Heybabeimwearingurpanties
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
