I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish you could order shots online.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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