i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize