peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
