suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
