Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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