He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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