a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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