OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
