i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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