I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
