Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
