I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
