I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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