You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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