Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
