He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
