i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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