ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize