it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
