what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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