She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
