I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Boobs are out for the taking
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
