just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
