You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
