i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
