Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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