are you so shy because you have an std?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
