i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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