I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize