Dual....:-)
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
