I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
